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Why 'Maintaining You' is Key to a Happier Marriage

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You know the feeling, the butterflies in your stomach, the excitement of starting a new chapter with the person you love. That's what marriage is all about, two people embarking on a journey together.

But, as much as we all want our marriages to be filled with love and laughter, it's not always a walk in the park.

In fact, many marriages end up struggling because one or both partners lose sight of their individuality in the midst of trying to make the marriage work.

As a relationship expert, Dr. John Gottman states, "A strong sense of self is crucial in any healthy relationship." And, he's not alone in this belief. Many experts agree that maintaining your individuality is key to a happier and healthier marriage.

The Consequences of Losing Yourself in a Marriage

But, why is that? Well, for starters, when you lose sight of yourself, you lose sight of your values, your passions, and your purpose. And, when that happens, you may find yourself feeling lost, unfulfilled, and unhappy. This, in turn, can lead to dissatisfaction in the marriage.

Additionally, when you're not taking care of yourself, you're not bringing your best self to the marriage. You're not able to be fully present and engaged in the relationship. This can lead to a lack of intimacy, communication breakdowns, and even resentment.

Self-Care for a Stronger Marriage

But, how do you maintain yourself in a marriage? It's simple: by doing the things you love, pursuing your passions, and taking care of yourself. This may mean taking a yoga class, going for a run, or even just taking some time to read a book. It's also important to set boundaries and make sure you have time for yourself.

According to a study by the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy, couples who make time for self-care in their relationship are more likely to have a happier and healthier marriage. So, take a cue from the experts and make sure you're taking care of yourself.

The Importance of Self-Care in a Relationship

In the words of relationship expert Dr. Laura Berman, "When you take care of yourself, you're able to show up as the best version of yourself in your relationship. And, that's when the magic happens."

So, don't be afraid to take some time for yourself. It's not only good for you, but it's good for your marriage.

We hope you received valuable insights from this article. If you’re interested in listening to topics like this one,  you can check out the Happier Marriage Secrets podcast available on all platforms. 

We also want to let you know that we have a lot of new episodes coming out soon, so subscribe to the show so you don’t miss out on any of our new content.


The Happier Marriage Assessment helps couples improve their relationship by identifying areas for growth and providing personalized recommendations. You will get your score and the associated meaning, immediately.  But that's not all. You will then get a downloadable PDF that explains it all and a "your next step" guide.
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