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5 Powerful Skills to Control Your Emotions and Confidently Create a Happier Marriage Experience

emotional intelligence emotions happier marriage self-awareness

If you're in a relationship, you know that emotions can be a double-edged sword. On one hand, they bring depth and meaning to our relationships. On the other hand, they can also cause conflict and upset.

But what if you had the skills to control your emotions and create a happier marriage experience? It's not about bottling up your feelings or pretending everything is perfect. It's about being able to manage and express your emotions in a healthy way.

Dr. John Gottman says, "The emotional well-being of your marriage is just as important as its physical well-being." 

With that in mind, here are five powerful skills to help you control your emotions and confidently create a happier marriage experience:


Practice being present and self-aware 

This involves bringing your attention to the present moment and becoming more aware of your thoughts, feelings, and surroundings. It can help you better understand your emotional responses and make more conscious decisions about how to react. This is hard work and will take commitment and a decision. 


Identify and Accurately label your emotions

 It can be helpful to take a step back and identify what you're feeling when you're upset. Are you feeling frustrated, hurt, or angry? By accurately labeling your emotions, you can better understand and manage them.

One of the ways to know that you are describing your feelings and not your thoughts/opinions is that you are able to use 3 or 4 words max to describe it.


Use coping mechanisms to manage strong emotions 

When you're feeling overwhelmed or upset, it can be helpful to turn to healthy coping mechanisms such as deep breathing or physical activity. These strategies can help you calm down and find perspective. Calming down after being triggered by an event is critical to your success.


Seek support from friends, family, or a mental health professional 

Having a supportive network can provide a sense of belonging and help you navigate challenges. Whether it's venting to a close friend or seeking guidance from a therapist, having someone to talk to can make a big difference. 

When you “talk it out” you are more likely to get another perspective and insight that you didn’t have before. The old adage, “two heads are better than one” is still true.


Develop healthy ways to express and process emotions 

Whether it's through journaling, art therapy, prayer, meditation, or another outlet, finding healthy ways to express and process your emotions can provide an outlet for difficult feelings and help you gain insight into your emotions.


Final Thoughts

Of course, these skills won't develop overnight. It takes time and regular practice, to build emotional intelligence and strengthen your relationship. 

But with a little effort and patience, you can learn to better control your emotions and create a more fulfilling and happier marriage.

Relationship expert Dr. Tina Tessina advises, "Communicate openly and honestly with your partner. Don't try to guess what they're thinking or feeling, or make assumptions. Ask them directly, and listen carefully to their responses. This will help you both understand each other better and reduce misunderstandings and conflicts." 

By communicating openly and honestly with your partner, you can build trust, deepen your connection, and create a more emotionally healthy relationship.

We hope you get valuable insights on this content. If you’re interested in listening to this topic you can check out the full podcast episode

We also want to let you know that we have a lot of new episodes coming out soon,  so subscribe to the show so you don’t miss out on any of our new content.


The Happier Marriage Assessment helps couples improve their relationship by identifying areas for growth and providing personalized recommendations. You will get your score and the associated meaning, immediately.  But that's not all. You will then get a downloadable PDF that explains it all and a "your next step" guide.
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